Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
