I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
