Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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