Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
