This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
