Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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