Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Welp...herpes.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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