like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
