The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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