Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
