hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
