Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We don't watch enough power rangers
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
