Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
