There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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