Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
