where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
