Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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