i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
