Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Drake has all the answers
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
