I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
