so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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