So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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