You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
