So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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