Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
