Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
