Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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