Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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