I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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