is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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