you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
