Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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