WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
