Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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