on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We need to get me chipped asap
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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