I cockslap morals
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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