32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
