there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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