Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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