when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
