How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
