My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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