i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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