I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
