I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
