we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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