Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
