is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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