If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
