I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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