Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
And then he peed in my hair
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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